Dept. of Pain

Sunday, 17 September 2017 07:40 pm
kaffyr: (Clara didn't ask for this)
Okay, This Is New. And Awful

Pain. Pain. Pain.  )
kaffyr: (Badly Written)
I Am Running Around in All Directions

I am not quite acting like a chicken with its head cut off (and yes, children, that was a thing in the days when one might dispatch a chicken for dinner), but whatever I'm doing is very close to that. I shall search for a simile when I have time. 

So it seems as if I definitely must complete three days' work before the end of Thursday, because the medical procedure I'm undergoing on Friday has been moved up from 1 p.m. to 10 a.m. And I just realized that I'm supposed to attend a meeting Thursday night, in the midst of preparing for my procedure. The combination of meeting and procedure prep is, for a variety of reasons undoubtedly known to those of you over 50, unrealistic. I am praying that the meeting will actually be viewable online; then I can cover it from home, which will a much more suitable locale, given the prep necessities.

(What? No, I'm not going to spell it out for you, although the hint I gave you ought to be enough. I will say that, in addition to that for which I'm prepping, I'll be undergoing an endoscopy at roughly the same time. God, I love growing old.)

Yesterday I realized that, by covering one story last Thursday, in The Place That I Have Come to Loathe, I missed another meeting in my regular and much-preferred beat. Luckily, I was able to cover that meeting by archived video. Hurrah for 21st century tech. 

And therefore I'm off! Perhaps I'll have enough energy to check back in later today. I'd like that.  
kaffyr: A still from "Kiki's Delivery Service" (Kiki dreams)
Things, Things, Things
  • I apologize to all the wonderful people - including my own beloved BB - whose July and August birthdays I've failed to acknowledge. I hope you all had excellent natal days; I think all of you help improve my world, and you're lovely in general. I'm glad I've gotten to know all of you via the Internet. 
  • I listened to a radio interview tonight done a few years ago with a woman who translated Rainer Maria Rilke, and who was pretty interesting in and of herself; worked for the CIA in Germany in the 1950s, became a buddhist monk after meeting Tibetan refugees (including the young Dalai Lama) while being part of one of the first Peace Corps families in India, as well as being an early environmentalist. Can I remember her name? Of course not.  Now I want to read Rilke's poetry. I've only read a few bits, and loved them. 
  • I want to write about why The Goblin Emperor is my comfort food novel. I think I've read it four times already, and I think I know why. But some of the reasons might sound disrespectful to Sarah Monette, who wrote it under the pseudonym Katherine Addison. They aren't; they are, in my mind, one of the reasons I think her writing is marvelous. But still ... can I put it all together well? I don't know. 
  • Less than a month before BB and I head to Canada to celebrate my step-dad's birthday. I can hardly wait - I'm looking at things to do, like a wine-tasting at Grand Pre, maybe some theater in Halifax, dinner with friends in Wolfville ... augh; I don't know. But it's our first big blow-out vacation in years, and I want to come back to Chicago remembering it with great joy. 
  • I've taken to listening to "ancient" music - stuff from the Baroque period and before, which I've mentioned before. It's very soothing. 
  • My right hand is starting to stiffen up again, after a few years of really good recovery from the initial attack of RA and scleroderma. And my stomach is giving me rather constant troubles. Not sure what to do about the first thing, but I'm looking forward to my Aug. 25 visit with my gastroenterologist to talk about the second thing. 
  • Had back spasms Friday and some of the weekend. Kept me out of work Friday. That'll teach me to lay off my back exercises.
  • FB and Miss Emily got back from their trip; it was good to have them home, and to welcome Emily into the family with a hug. (No, they're not married yet, but as far as I'm concerned, she's part of the family now.)

And I think that's about all I can think of for now. 
kaffyr: (Badly Written)
Again, I'm Trying Again

Perhaps I should stop using Twitter; my attention span has melted like snow, and my ability to think cogent, long-form thoughts has melted along with it.  Three times I've tried to write a post worth someone's time; three times I've failed. And we're not talking about the multiple days that I just didn't try to begin with, or the multiple days I didn't read my f'list, or, reading, did not comment. 

Ah, me. As we are wont to say in our house about whinging too damned much: Grumble, grumble, grumble, whale meat again.  

(Hey, it's a thing. A kaffyr and BB and FB thing. ... Ahem ... Perhaps one had to be there?)

In new TMI news, I went through roughly a week of intermittent nausea that became absolutely awful on Saturday. One doctor's visit later, I need to get a gallbladder scan, and I've been told to lose a little weight, cut the caffeine and cut my stress. Cut my caffeine? Eurgh. I already don't drink coffee much anymore. Cut my weight? Yeah, probably. 

Cut my stress?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH—

Oops. Thinking out loud again. 


Dept. of Surgery Day

Thursday, 14 April 2016 08:02 pm
kaffyr: The TARDIS at Giverny (TARDIS at Giverny)
Operation Get BB Back to Optimal Ocular Outlook

It's the end of the day. BB is sleeping on the couch, one eye very piratical. I will be quite fierce with him if he does anything like bend over, or try to pick up things, both of which activities are prohibited over the next day, and highly discouraged over the next week. 

Medical stuff )

Union and work stuff )

Good things, good books )
And now I must away to bed.


Dept. of Stuff

Monday, 11 April 2016 05:41 pm
kaffyr: Mid-afternoon view from the spirit world train. (Train view)
So ... Gratitude. 

I am grateful for these flowers. They bloom for a very short time every spring in Chicago, just a breath ahead of the forsythia bushes. To me, they are spring. There are some stretches of Ridge Road in Evanston where lawns are blanketed in the bluest blue for a few glorious days. I've always told myself I'd take photos of the flowers, and I finally got around to doing so. No enhancement needed for this picture.  Happy Spring!

 photo dd7a05e1-b6c6-45ae-b5a5-a02746e5f73a_zps3victt9v.jpg


Other things for which I'm grateful: 

I'm finally fic writing again. Three separate things (Chapter 26 of H&M, and two MCU tales) all at the same time. I'm not complaining - you go with what works, right?

I'm going to try to be grateful for the surgical team that will be working with BB this Thursday, but I'm not grateful to the "support" team at the surgeon's office. Incompetent twits. But this is a post about gratitude, so we'll leave that alone. 

I'm grateful for the clarity of mind that descended on me this afternoon, and which has convinced me - or nearly convinced me - not to run for Chicago NewsGuild local president. Being acting president is bidding fair to convince me to run the other way. Screaming. 

I am, as always, grateful for BB, and grateful for all of you. I hope your weekends were good, and that your week began well, and will end well. 
kaffyr: 11's profile, the quote re fezzes (Fezzes are cool)
 ... is a Never-Ending DEElite

So the podiatrist says it is indeed mostly likely a stress fracture: "We'll treat it like one until I'm proven otherwise." That would happen only if the MRI I had on the foot last night does the proving. She pointed out that the X-ray my GP ordered wouldn't have ID'd any stress fracture anyway, because it was taken only 15 days after the pain started, and apparently stress fractures don't show on X-ray film for at least 21 days. So I learned a new thing. 

And therefore? 
Saving bandwidth )

Fashion Forward Footwear. Yay. (Or actually, YAY!! At least I've probably got something that can be dealt with. I love known quantities!)


kaffyr: The Third Doctor goes into action (Action Three!)
Ticked Off the To-Do List
  • Set up an initial physical therapy review session for Tuesday
  • Set up an appointment with my shrink on Saturday,
  • Bought a three month lap-swimming membership with the Chicago Park District ($40 - a real deal, compared with buying a Y membership.)
  • Enjoyed another hot shower. MMMmmm, hot water.
  • Got more done on my IOU fic. 

I think Monday went well. 

Dept. of w00t!!1!

Saturday, 9 May 2015 05:03 pm
kaffyr: Dancing French cracked geniuses (Sometimes you need to dance)
Hubris be Damned, It's Time to Be Giddy

Friday, for the first time in almost three weeks, I had a hot shower in my own home. 

To say that I was giddy is an understatement. 

Another building resident, in tandem with the treasurer, took care of keeping people apprised of the latest phase of Team Incompetent's fixit efforts. BB made it his mission to inform TI that they were, in part, the reason for me being sick and that the fixit should happen sooner rather than later. 

In the meantime, I went to my second doctor's appointment, to my internist (saw the awesome rheumatologist Thursday); the upshot is that both doctors agree that I should start physical therapy for my back, and take up swimming or yoga for my body and my brain. I used to laugh at that sort of thing. Now I'm going to make a good stab at letting both help me. 

Right now, my body is still giving me a little grief (another mouth problem, plus inflammation in my ear and throat, but I'm back on the meds I took before to get rid of the mouth problems. And I'm happy to have hot water. (Mind you, the hottest water awaits, since TI is bringing in a second high-temperature thermostat for the second heater they installed.)

Hot water. MMMMmmmmmm. 
kaffyr: Umbrella's, figure rise in a field; from Magritte? (umbrellas rise)
Stress, Strawberries, Fried Rice and Fanfic

While painkillers and bossanova help me forget the incipient back spasm that is, even now, trying to decide whether it will come to stay awhile, I'll belatedly try to catch people up on life at Casa 
[personal profile] kaffyr 

Under a cut, yo ) Also? I hate that I seem to have lost my ability to do cuts. Just hit'em all to see what I wrote. Gah.
kaffyr: The Polar Bear from Polar Bear cafe (Polar Bear-san)
A Small Roundup of Things

A gracious good morning to you all! I am up bright and early, or at least as close to bright and early as I am apt to get up, and I thought I'd start the week by making my brain work. Remarkable things, brains; if you're willing to actually force them to think linearly, to make them create sentences that have proper punctuation and a real beginning, middle, and end, why then they're apt to get more flexible, and are much more apt to work better, than if you stare at a game of solitaire all day.And that's why I'm posting at this unusual point in the day for  me. 

Come on brain; you've got a lot of work to do, so let's do it!

First (but not in any particular order), I made a stew this weekend which was the first stew I've made without using a recipe. Well, to be fair, the day before I put it together, I browsed through some various stew recipes, from gumbo and beef bourguinon to cassoulet, just to get a better handle on the process, but I didn't crack a book the day I made it. And it turned out very tasty. I am pleased. 

Next, I've got two fics started; one is an IOU for fandom_stocking and one was based on a prompt for a fic contest. The deadline for that contest is tonight at 9 p.m. Eastern time, so I can pretty much forecast that the story won't be entered into the contest, because I am glacially slow, but the prompt did what it was supposed to do; it prompted me. All of this activity is, I hope, helping my brain (remember my flaccid brain what I am attempting to exercise? Yeah, that brain) kick into Chapter 25 of H&M. 

Speaking of which, I have begun to think that I need a new name for that story. The name no longer applies. I must think on that. 

Rather TMI on mouth/medical issues.  )

I have an extremely busy week coming up, but I hope to post a little more regularly. (Yeah, yeah, I know. The same old song and dance from 
[personal profile] kaffyr .)

Oh yes, I'm also looking forward to Age of Ultron. Very, very much. 

And that, I think, is the end of this extraordinarily boring post. If I can think of other amusing things, I shall endeavor to post them a little later in the day. I hope you all have excellent Mondays, and excellent weeks!
kaffyr: Rory and Amy having a rabbit hole day (Rabbit hole day)
Several Things Make a List
  • Medical stuff )
  • Work: things are still crazy. Still making a deliberate and considered effort not to be freaked the fuck out. Vacation transition madness continues. Still focusing on fuzzy kittens with all my will.
  • Christmas Day: Successfully pulled off dinner for nine. Enjoyed the company; the company enjoyed us. Loved giving out the presents - partial shares in water buffaloes (and a couple of shares of goats) through Heifer International. Plus book store gift cards, because everyone needs something more than a water buffalo. Got some neat things; the Doctor Who Book of Monsters from one of my friends who is a proto-fan, a book about British Kings and Queens, Gerald Durrell's A Zoo in my Luggage, which I've loved since I read it as a child. Oh, and BB's going to get me my first tattoo ... yesssssss! Got a back spasm.
  • Writing: Trying to work on [community profile] fandom_stocking  and thus far I have one story finished up, just about half an hour ago. With maybe three days to go before it closes, this is as unproductive as I've been in years. We shall see whether writing what I did today may have loosened the log jam in my brain at all.
  • BB: in bed all day with a cough and a temperature that got to about 102.8 before falling a little. I am worried.
And now, to bed, with heating pad and extra pillows because, yes, the back is still wonked. 
 

kaffyr: (Side-eyeing Coulson)
Very Quick Things
  • Cold on the way out, back spasm threatening. I will threaten it back, and frighten it way the hell out away from my muscles.
  • BB's thyroid biopsy came back negative for cancer. Since the tests indicate some thyroid problems, there may still be a connection to his ongoing fever, etc. We will find out when we talk to his doctor later this month. In the meantime, we are glad it isn't cancer. If that sounds less than ecstatic, it's only because we still don't have an answer to what is making his life miserable. Sometimes you can get so desperate to find out the reason for an illness that you begin to eye something definite with something uncomfortably close to approbation.
  • Saw the first half of the Who finale, Dark Water. I am willing to wait to see what the second half brings; I enjoyed it more than BB did, and he didn't not enjoy it. Was not surprised by the reveal, since I (and practically everyone else) had spotted that one from, oh, the first episode of S08. I'm reasonably pleased by it although I have never had the great affection for the character in question that others have. (Fascination and appreciation, yes, and some thoughts on the character's evolution, but not affection.) Why am I being this obtuse when everyone on my list who wants to see it has seen it? Because some of them may not have, so I'm trying not to be spoilerific.
  • And, out of nowhere, and thanks to posts elsewhere, all the scattered thoughts I've been having, the "I know there's a meta inside me waiting to get out" thoughts, the ones that have been swimming around aimlessly and without direction throughout this season (one I've regarded as extremely variable in quality, one I've been surprised to see viewed as a near masterwork by a lot of people I respect), have finally started coalescing. Mind you, that could be a mistake on my part. I thought they were coalescing around episode 3 and they didn't. So I shouldn't promise anything ....
  • Tomorrow, I get to go down to the legendary and fearsome Tribune Tower, to meet my new owners. Yes, it's on a deadline day, but they did at least apologize for making the mass meeting a last minute thing. More, after that happens.
kaffyr: Mid-afternoon view from the spirit world train. (Train view)
Better, better, better

Yesterday was not good, for a variety of reasons. Not horrid, but unpleasant.

pain med and prescription crap )
bread )

the Doctor )

On the other hand, today it is not sucking.

We went out and did a successful slipper swap at Costco (we got a new pair for me, and they were too large); FB came over briefly and played me recordings of songs he's doing with a new band he's jamming with, which was pleasant, especially since he also indicated that he and Emily are working out ways to deal with having to pay for his car repairs.Hurrah for maturity! And I got the chance to listen to Brazilian bossanova, do a couple more sentences on Chap. 24, get some prompts to do darkfic (as an exercise in doing things I'm not comfortable with) from the aforementioned and wonderful [personal profile] a_phoenixdragon , figured out what to do with the bread bricks, and let BB gently nurse me out of my foul mood.

So all in all? A decent recovery of the weekend. And tonight, more Avatar, I hope.

kaffyr: (Stahma)
When Brain and Body Decide to be Difficult
or: Wow, Too Much Stuff

It's not in a horrible way, mind you. My multi-day headache finally subsided, for one thing. (I'm counting that as one of my positives for today, by the way.)

medical-ish stuff )

housework and family )

home and native land stuff )

Doctor Who, of course )

And finally: I really, really like Avatar: the Last Airbender, and BB and I are only through the first book of episodes. 


kaffyr: Rory Williams Pond cries (Rory cries)
It Would Be Boring If It Wasn't Worse Than That

I'd sort of fallen off the map, journal-wise, and finally congratulated myself today about getting back into action by wishing folks happy birthdays, belated and otherwise. Then I'd planned to talk about all sorts of things; my continuing crazed work experience, thoughts of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, maybe one or two other fannish things, and updates on my brother, who came home Saturday. He still sounded weak, but he was on the mend. And I wanted to talk about things that were going well, or at least things I could grind my teeth about, but in a lively and maybe humorous way. I was going to upload the picture of my first 2014 Spring Robin. It was really plump, its breast was red, and it was sturdy and cheeky, and the picture made me smile, and I thought it might make you smile, too.

Mac called me today; he'd collapsed while talking on the phone and woke up to find paramedics and police in the house. I'm really glad that he was on the phone when it happened, although he says he doesn't even remember making the phone call. His red blood cell count is dropping, and they can't figure out why, and they're trying to reverse it, and figure out what's going on. So he's back in hospital.

I can't ... my mother went in to hospital. She went through a successful operation and came home. And she went back in, and she never came out. And I know this is a vastly different situation, but it all started happening with Mum just about this same time last year.

I have stories to write tomorrow, and things I have to deal with for the condo association, and some union stuff, I think. In the meantime, I've finally watched the latest Agent of SHIELD, and taken enough pseudo-kinda-trankey stuff to get me to sleep fast tonight.

Dept. of Thankful

Monday, 31 March 2014 11:17 pm
kaffyr: Mid-afternoon view from the spirit world train. (Train view)
 Mac came through the operation

I haven't spoken to him yet, and will probably wait until late Tuesday to do so; nor will I expect him to want to talk a lot. But his cardiac care nurse, with whom I spoke, said he was doing well after coming out of four or five hours of operating room time. 

Thank you for all your good wishes and prayers. I am a very grateful big sister. 

Dept. of WTF

Thursday, 27 March 2014 04:30 pm
kaffyr: A typical day in the BSG!verse (Frakkin' Watchtower)
 Because Really .. WTF?

1. My brother will have having quintuple bypass surgery Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday. I'm still painfully in the dark by my lights - although not by my little brother's - and wish I could just get the fuck up there. Can't, so I'll pray down here. I've talked to Mum a bit, as well. 

2. I got into this here Intarwebz fandom and far more than that, through a site called Television Without Pity. That was back in 2006. I learned ... so much from the people I met there, gained so much from them, learned about myself. It's shutting down next week.  I'll write about that more later, when I'm not a scattered mess. It seems so odd that that is weighing on my mind as much as Mac's bypass surgery. The mind does weird things, doesn't it? Weird fucking things. And yes, the word "fuck" seems to be the only one I can think of using. 

More. Later. Probably.

Dept. of Updates

Wednesday, 26 March 2014 03:40 pm
kaffyr: River's in light (River in light)
 The Word Is Bypass

Mac won't know until tomorrow at least what type of bypass (i.e. single, double, triple) or when they're going to do it, but the test they did today confirmed that the biggest occlusion was far bigger than they originally thought. 

Since Halifax is being hit by a monster winter storm right now, I was worried about his cat and dog, but friends are taking care of them. I also managed to get the name of a couple of his doctors out of him, and his girlfriend's phone number. (He asked me "why do you want those?" and I resisted saying a number of very sarcastic things and just said "For the same reason you wanted numbers when Mum was in hospital." A moment of silence followed, and I got the information.)

Dept. of Updates

Wednesday, 26 March 2014 12:12 am
kaffyr: (Level 7)
 You Gotta Have Heart

Quickly, before I fall exhausted into bed - many thanks to all of you out there who offered prayers, wishes and good vibes to my brother and me in the aftermath of his heart attack. I called him this morning and found out that he a) now has a stent in his heart and b) that that's because the doctors found four blockages. 

On Wednesday, they plan to recheck the blockages to find out what percentage of his heart is actually affected. That's when the decisions about bypass or no need thereof will come into play. 

Mac sounded stronger over the phone. I hope and pray that the next time I speak to him, he'll be irritable and bored. That's going to tell me he's truly on the mend. 

Again, my thanks; you guys are all fairly wonderful, you know that?

kaffyr: Animated rain falls on the bathhouse from Spirited Away (Bath house in the rain)
 Please Send Him Good Vibes, Y'all

My brother just phoned me; he had a heart attack last night, and is in hospital in Halifax. They will be keeping him in for at least three days. He did not sound good, but insists things are fine now. There is, apparently, no need for me to come up to N.S. He asked me to tell our stepdad, Rob, which I have done, keeping the message as positive as possible. He's 87 and just lost Mum. He doesn't need to worry more than necessary. 

Very selfishly, I do not — do not — want to be the last man standing in my family. He is my little brother, damn it. 

He's a very good man; a fine, strong, funny, kind, tough man and I'm very proud of him for shouldering so much for the last few years. If you believe in God, please send a prayer Their way for a quick recovery, If you don't, just keep him in your thoughts, if only for a moment. 

kaffyr: Weeping angel peers through "clock" (Time's no Angel)
So: Just How Do We Fix This?

A depressing little story from Mother Jones about the obstacles medical science faces when attempting to change the minds of anti-vaxxers.

When facts fail, do we look at how we deliver them? Do we look at what makes people reject them? Do we try to see the world from the nay-sayer's point of view in hopes of finding an argument or fact that might change her mind? Do we do all of those things?

Well, that's easy, I suppose. We do all of those things. But, lord, it's depressing to realize yet again that facts won't change peoples' minds.

(And it's depressing to realize that as a human, I could easily fall prey to the same blindness in other areas. Science? Not so much; but other areas? I'd better be willing to acknowledge my own biases.)

kaffyr: A cartoon dog ponders reality (Subjective pup)
Five Things Make a Post

1. Non-spoilery musings on Sherlock. )

Grumbles about mouth health, so possibly TMI. )
3. I've gotten moving again on Hearts & Moons, greatly to my own surprise. Go, me!.

4. The knowledge that a significant portion of the public is unconcerned with NSA and private corporate intrusion and surveillance into their lives is depressing. So is the knowledge that my company has just ended its lease with the building it rents space in, apparently because it's looking for cheaper space. What these things have in common, I have no idea.

5. I wish Defiance, S2, was airing now. Instead I have to wait until June. Grumble redux.

kaffyr: The Polar Bear from Polar Bear cafe (Polar Bear-san)
By the Non-Pricking of My Thumbs And Other Digits

One of the things about scleroderma is that it comes in a neatly wrapped package with Raynaud's Syndrome.The latter is a syndrome kicked in by cold or stress. If you check the second link and look at the picture, that's generally what my hands can look like up to several times a day. Sometimes it's worse.  When it comes to the precipitating factors ... well, I live in Chicago, which spends a great deal of time being noticeably cold. Y'all know how much stress I deal with. Connecting the dots should be easy.

Ewwww. Medical stuff and self-pity! )

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kaffyr: The TARDIS says hello (Default)
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